5 things to say when someone is depressed

Suppose, a friend comes to you and tells you that his leg is broken, would you ever think to say, “go for a long run and you’ll feel better?” Would you tell him it’s all in the head, and if he’d just stop thinking about it he’ll get over it? Of course not! You’ll take him to the doctor and get the necessary checkups done.

Then why do we consider acting differently to a friend or loved one who tells us they’re struggling with depression? Telling them ‘It’s your own fault’ or ‘snap out of it’ or ‘you never think of anybody but yourself’ is not going to help them with depression. So, what should you actually say to help someone with depression?

Below is a list of helpful things you can say to someone battling depression –

1. I’m here for you

   It’s simple, it’s sweet, and communicates everything you need to say as depression makes people feel lonely. This phrase reminds them of the reality that there are people who do love them and they can open up about their feelings whenever needed.

2. It’s completely OK to feel this way but believe me you have the power to get over it, you are a good person

   Guilt and hopelessness are common symptoms of depression. That’s why it can be helpful to reaffirm that you believe in them. Tell them that they are still an awesome person and you share wonderful memories with them, and tell them about their ‘strengths’. It will give them hope to get through hard times and boost their self-esteem and confidence.

3. This is not your fault
   1. Depression isn’t something you can catch like a cold, yet many people with depression feel like they did something to cause it. Lovingly communicating your understanding of this helps release the blame and goes a long way toward resolving the feeling of guilt that burdens them.
   2. I’m not sure what to do, but I’m sure we can figure it out together

   You don’t have to always have the answers and its best not to pretend you do. What’s important is that you’re willing to stick around and help them figure out how to start feeling better.

4. Is there anything I can do to help?

   Ask them if there is anything you can do to help them. Sometimes they may not know what they need. In such case, you can be more specific and ask things like ‘Do you want some help with housework?’, ‘Would you like some company for a while?’ There are chances that they would say no for everything you ask, but be consistent and patient while talking to them.

   Please remember that even if you say all the ‘right’ things to your loved ones, there are chances that they may become upset with you. This is because every individual has unique thoughts and feelings, and their expression also differs. Don’t be surprised even if they lash out at you as they don't know where to direct their bad feelings. Whoever is nearby becomes a convenient target. It is advised not to take it personally. Stay calm and continue to do what you can to love and support them in whatever way they allow. If needed, don’t hesitate to seek medical help for them. After all, you love them and want to see them happy!